Nappily Ever After Inspired

Hey y’all, sorry for the delay in writing, I’m in the midst of moving and ordering my mother around for a wedding that’ll happen in about a month in a half. YIKES! Nothing was inspiring me to write until I saw Nappily Ever After on Netflix…….

Growing up in a predominately Portuguese neighborhood, I never once thought I was different. I ate caldo verde after school. I spoke Portuguese, and I was/am attracted to that type of man. (IE my soon to be husband) It wasn’t until people cared to ask me where I was from that I started to stand out; to myself and to others. My hair started to look nappier, my skin was all of a sudden too white and my Spanish was nonexistent. I was no longer the same, I had become an outsider.

Then I left the neighborhood and went to high school where Dominicans ruled supreme. I had never had mangu before. I didn’t spend my summers visiting family in the old country. At that time in my life I wished I was Portuguese because I couldn’t relate to my own heritage. My spanish was a joke, literally, but I could pull off a good lip liner and hoop earrings like no other. I looked more Puerto Rican in High School than I ever had in my entire life. But I didn’t feel like it.

Being Puerto Rican and Dominican is a mind fuck all in its own. We claim to be worlds apart when in reality we share the same ocean only 237 miles away. I mean you cannot get any closer than that unless I was Haitian. And that mental war makes absolutely no sense to me. I get the whole French and Spanish territorial thing but you share the same damn island, at some point you have to become friends, right? Wrong. As long as our languages, skin and hair are different we will never believe to be the same. Sad.

Its unfortunate that in 2018 we still have this type of indifference, that these movies are taboo in a way. We are all trying to fit into some sort of group. Who are we trying to fit in with? Is anyone really “white or black” anymore?

In 50 days I will be married to my long time crush who is of European descent. Who’s ancestors either raped and pillage my ancestors, or they were best friends, who freaking knows. What I do know is that one day we will have mixed children. Children whose skin may be too white or dark (he’s darker than me), hair might be too curly and they may not even speak either language. My only wish is that they never feel the shame I did growing up. That they are always welcomed for their uniqueness and cultural unity. Hopefully the world changes for the better, but at the rate we are heading, it seems like history may repeat itself.

Live Forever Free.

Love More, Peace More and Roar More.

Your Wild (Taino) Spirit Guide,

Allie

P.S. The movie was a great eye opener! It really put into perspective my own childhood thoughts. Did I straighten my hair to fit in or because I liked it? Did I become more Hispanic in high school so I could finally feel I was part of a group? I will never be able to make amends with my younger self, I could only do better for the future me and mini mes.

1 Comment

  1. Cherry

    November 7, 2018 at 8:31 pm

    Loved that movie too! And as kids we are always super insecure I’m sure we can all look back and remember a time where we felt out of place . As we get older we realize being different is fucken awesome and everyone else is basic af haha I love u what a great read and can’t wait to see u marry Andy!

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