wedded bliss, or disaster?
On december 1, 2018 I married my best friend. Is the perfect beginning to a happily ever after. Except life doesn’t have fairies nor is it a tale written in a book. Maybe a book by R.L. Stine. Anyone, get that reference? No, Okay so as I was saying, my one year anniversary is upon us. Man, was that a long fucking year. When I look back at the past twelve months I think how much is 12 times twenty years?
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes later. We are here.
Torn but glued together. Hanging by an Egyptian cotton thread. Falling in love all over again. Every couple goes through their trials and tribulations especially in marriage. You know how meaningless it is to tell them you’re leaving if they dont change, when you know, that they know you aint about to go nowhere, that’s why you said I Do. Now, of course, this excludes cases when you have to run the fuck out of there. Please do, talk to someone and allow for them to help you if necessary.
Just up until a month ago, Andrew and I were done. I had enough money saved up, a home to run to, a whole other chapter waiting for me, all i had to was reach for it. The grass was greener, it was luscious and screaming with adventure. Where I was standing, mud clenched my toes so tight. Making every step closer to home farther to get. Every day icy, cold and stormy. The house standing on a shaky edge. One wrong move. PLOP!!. No known survivors.
When you find yourself in a life or death (death signifying the slow decay that is unhappiness) situation. You must talk to everyone about it, hearing advice you never planned on taking. Kidding. Maybe. The best option is always the one that needs the work. Its harder, yes. But in the end you will evolve. You will come out stronger. Wiser. Healthier all the way around. You fought for your right to be sane. When you choose the easier option, you will only be satisfied with finding the shortcuts in life. The surface level of loving anyone but yourself first. I have chosen the fast answers before, the cheat sheet. Yes, I aced the test but did I learn the lesson?
Marriage is one long social experiment. Agreeing to that commitment you promised to see it through. That does not necessarily mean time, it means trying out all the options. Did you know that 65% percent of marriages fail from communication problems. Have you ever noticed when you’re in an argument, even with anyone you care about. The longer you don’t speak, the longer the fight lingers in your mind. It festers turning into Grade A poison. If you; and I know this is hard; if you took the time to step outside of yourself and actually listen to what your partner needs or wants, that’s the biggest battle of them all. By talking and listening calmly, expectations can be shared. “This is what I am looking for in a partner” “This is what I am willing to give as a partner”
That is where you can find me now in our story. Finally done fighting myself and him. Open, Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed. Well bushy front, cause well marriage.
I hope that choosing to stay brings about many long beautiful fruitful years. An unbreakable bond like the ones where they die together or one right after the other. It’s such a dark yet romantic way of saying I loved you so much I couldn’t bear a minute without you. Thats my kind of love.
Love More, Peace More and Roar More.
Your Newly Changed Last Name Spirit Guide,